Have you ever heard of psychosomatics, a direction in psychology and medicine that studies the relationship between our external (physical) and internal (emotional) state? Such skin problems as rashes, dryness, allergies from the point of view of psychosomatics appear because a person has an obvious or hidden conflict with the inner world: rejection of himself, dislike of himself, and most importantly, dependence on the opinions of others. It’s up to you to believe it or not, but to stop caring about what others think of you all the time is an extremely useful skill.

The greatest Andre Maurois, French writer, biographer of genius, once said: “Don’t be guided by public opinion. This is not a lighthouse, but wandering lights. But, you must admit that in practice it is very difficult to become independent of someone else’s point of view, especially if it belongs to someone close to you. Every time you think (look, act, eat) differently than everyone else, you should remember the following:

1. Many people don’t think about you at all.
Maybe in your life it happened that at school you were crazy about some high school student, a la Pechorin or Onegin, and thought that he despises you and hates you fiercely? But in fact, the subject of sighing did not even bother to know your name and was busy with his own affairs, while you diligently built illusions. We have been out of school for a long time, so it’s worth accepting the truth: most (let me clarify, most adequate and satisfied with their own lives) people don’t even think of you in a negative light, let alone criticize. Happy people, they are from another Universe, they do not care what they talk about and gossip about them, and they, in turn, do not impose their opinions on others. And the rest … and try to cut off the rest, life is too short to waste time on envious, immature, obsessive people.

2. Everyone has their own way.
Angelina Jolie admitted in an interview that at the beginning of her career, many acquaintances tried to prove to her that the path she chose was unpromising, and, according to “well-wishers”, she was supposed to become “one of the second-rate actresses” that flooded Hollywood at the end of the last century. But Jolie, clenching her beautiful teeth and pursing even more beautiful lips, stood her ground. And now, I think, it is not worth listing all her merits as in cinema, and in life.

When you are in doubt about the correctness of your choice, do not completely neglect the opinion of loved ones and relatives (if you trust, appreciate and love them), but always reserve the right of the “last vote”. In this case, even if you lose, you will not blame anyone but yourself.

3. People change their minds.
The mood, thoughts, philosophy of people throughout life sometimes changes dramatically. There are many examples: A. S. Pushkin (from a Decembrist to a moderate conservative), L. N. Tolstoy (from a nihilist to a religious hermit), J. Swift (who repeatedly changed his political views) and many, many others. Therefore, it is worth remembering that your views may not be shared until the first serious victory. Alas, people tend to criticize everything that causes them distrust, seems frivolous or too risky. Therefore, fewer words – more deeds: Pavel Durov’s father was skeptical about his idea of ​​​​creating a social network, and his parents considered Kafka to be a “second-rate hack.” But it is worth remembering that any criticism must be answered with dignity, because people may later change their minds, and your reaction will forever remain an indicator of your upbringing and good manners.

4. Life lasts only a moment.
How much is measured out to us, no one knows. Therefore, every time you go along with someone else’s opinion and do something that you really don’t want, you are blatantly stealing from yourself. Another “must” with an invisible thread ties you to the chair of everyday life, and what if you can’t get up later? So you will live your life in the “office – home – office – home – vacation every two years” mode and again in a circle? The worst thing is the endless groundhog day. And time flies, and in the entire history of mankind it has not spared anyone.

5. It is impossible to please everyone.
After listening to character A and acting in accordance with his desires, you acquired an enemy in the person of character B. Having pleased B with your softness, you annoyed C. And then what is the point of pleasing someone if the number of ill-wishers does not increase at best? It is impossible to please everyone, and it is rather stupid to strive for this.

The burden of public opinion is very heavy, moreover, it is like a fetter that prevents you from being free and moving forward. And it depends only on you whether to obey this machine and put a label on yourself with a number, like M. Zamyatin in the wonderful novel “We”, or be yourself, with everyone shortcomings, features and a slightly different “format”.