with rational arguments and positive thinking, you may not succeed. For example, if you think you're too old to get married, reminding yourself that more than 10 percent of all marriages in the United States are between people over 40 years old (according to the National Institute of Health Statistics, 1997) is unlikely to will change your belief.
The sabotaging belief that you are too old for a happy love relationship needs to be worked through by referring to the following techniques.
one. Простимулируйте зону БСР, проговаривая при этом: «Я принимаю себя, пусть даже считаю, что я слишком стар для счастливых любовных отношений».
2. Stimulate WBS by repeating the following belief: "I accept myself, even if I think I'm too old to ever have a successful love relationship."
3. Stimulate the TPNH point by saying, "I accept myself, even if I think I'm too old to deserve a happy love relationship."
Sometimes these beliefs work in combination with each other. People who can't find the right partner often feel (subconsciously) that they don't deserve a good relationship, that it's impossible for them to have a happy relationship, and that all of them are unreliable. Such mental attitudes and fears sabotage their personal lives.
Very often we meet someone who treats us well and is an interesting person, but, nevertheless, we reject him. A reasonable explanation comes to mind first: this candidate is not attractive enough, he/she does not earn enough money. However, in reality, we do not go into these relationships because, deep down, we believe that we do not deserve to be treated so well. Often people waste their time and energy looking for a partner whose looks, money and originality would make them feel like a step down. They are they do this because the sensations they experience will coincide with their inner beliefs - subconscious attitudes that lead relationships to failure. In order to work this kind of reversal, you must articulate your violations. Don't worry about the accuracy of the statements - you know how you feel and what you believe. Once you work through them—and at first you may need to do this daily—your thoughts and feelings will become free, and you will stop wasting your time chasing the wrong people for you.

Forcing relationships

Another problem in the sphere of personal life can be called "forcing relationships", which is expressed in a tendency to dive headlong into them even before you really know the person. AT этом случае вас сразу же тянет к человеку по различным причинам, среди которых, к примеру, могут быть его внешность, стиль, манеры, достижения, интересы. ATы сразу же бесповоротно влюбляетесь, и лишь
later you come to the realization that you and this person are simply incompatible. And then some people break off this relationship only to repeat their mistake later with someone else. Others make the mistake of maintaining this relationship and dooming themselves to misfortune.
If you feel an obvious desire to force a personal relationship, you may scare your partner away. By acting in this way, you show your emotional instability and weakness, and the reason why you want to spend time with your potential partner remains unclear. The following exercise of consistently stimulating acupuncture points will help you get rid of the tendency to force relationships.

An exercise to eliminate the tendency to force relationships

one. Сформулируйте свою проблему подобным образом: «Я пытаюсь добиться близких отношений слишком быстро и своим поведением внушаю опасения мужчинам/женщинам». Think about the specific situation associated with this disorder and rate your desire to start a relationship on a scale from 0 to 10, where 10 indicates its excessive manifestation, and 0 indicates its complete absence.
2. Work out the opportunity реверсирования, стимулируя зону БСР или растирая ЧТ, при этом проговорите трижды: «Я принимаю себя, пусть даже я слишком быстро погружаюсь в отношения». ATы также You can use the following statement: "I accept myself with all my problems and limitations."
3. Look at the table. 30 and fig. 29 to determine the location of TL, TBN, TPNH, and THR. While repeating the following phrase: "I'm getting into relationships too fast," lightly tap each of these points five times. ATоздействуйте на них в следующей последовательности: 1, 2, 3, four. Постукивание не должно вызывать боли, но быть yet tangible.

Rice. 29. Forcing relationships
Tab. 30. The sequence of biologically active points to eliminate the tendency to force relationships

Acupuncture points Location
forehead point (ТЛ) 1 На 2 сантиметра выше бровей прямо между ними
point under the nose (ТПН) 2 Под центром носа над верхней губой
Point under the lower lip (ТПНГ) 3 Углубление между нижней губой и подбородком
chest point (ТГР) 4 ATерхняя часть груди

four. Снова оцените уровень своего стремления начать отношения по шкале от 0 до 10 баллов (эта цифра должна просто come to mind). Если снижения не произошло, вернитесь ко второму шагу и снова выполните упражнение на последовательное stimulation. AT том случае, когда после трех попыток улучшения нет, велика вероятность того, что данный прием для вас не подходит, или же у вас есть другое саботирующее убеждение (то есть реверсирование), которое должно быть проработано (см. восьмой шаг).
5. Next, perform the Brain Stimulation (CM) exercise by influencing на область ТСР и вращая at the same time with the eyes clockwise, then counterclockwise. After rolling your eyes, hum the melody on the count of five.
6. Повторите последовательное стимулирование: 1, 2, 3, four.
7. Re-evaluate the degree of discomfort on a scale of 0 to 10 points. Now it should be lower. If its level is between 0 and 2 points, go to the ninth step. Иногда вам потребуется выполнить упражнение несколько раз, думая о том, что вас беспокоит, прежде чем вы испытаете полное освобождение от Problems.
8. When условии, что степень дискомфорта будет снижаться, продолжайте выполнять упражнения до тех пор, пока он не будет сведен к minimum or not disappear at all. If the improvement process is suspended, this indicates the appearance of a mini-reversal. It needs to be worked out стимулированием зоны БСР при while simultaneously repeating the following statement: "I accept myself even though I still have this problem."
9. When the level of discomfort decreases to 0-2 points, you can perform an eye-rolling (RO) exercise to further ослабить неприятные sensations or fix the effect of the treatment. For использования данного приема Stimulate the TCP area while keeping your head straight and slowly move your gaze from the floor to the ceiling.
The tendency to force relationships often comes from your belief that you are not good enough or that you will never meet your loved one. ATаше отчаяние может определять подход к отношениям. AT этом случае внутреннее ощущение беспокойства и низкая самооценка также должны быть проработаны при помощи следующих упражнений.
one. Стимулируя ТПНГ, проговорите трижды: «Я принимаю себя, пусть даже мне кажется, что мое время уходит, а я недостаточно хорош, чтобы иметь любовные отношения».
2. After that, lightly tapping five times on each of the points shown in fig. 29, - TL, TBN, TPNG and TGR, while saying the following phrase: "Too fast immersion in a relationship."
In addition to using these techniques, before you start dating someone, you should also use them whenever you feel like you're trying to force a relationship. By following this advice, you will be able to remain calm while gradually approaching a person. Before you "hopelessly fall in love" with a partner, you need to accumulate sufficient experience in communicating with him. AT этом случае любовь на самом деле станет вашим выбором.

Understanding and Accepting Differences

AT 1992 году Джон Грей написал свой бестселлер «Мужчины с Марса, женщины с ATенеры». AT этой книге автор пытается помочь людям понять, чем они отличаются, и научиться налаживать контакт друг с другом. Gray very accurately shows the typical reactions of men and women to various situations and gives advice on how you can learn to react differently in order to improve your relationship. And although this book deals with many situations, it has two keynotes.
one. Женщины должны перестать обвинять и осуждать своих партнеров, когда те совершают ошибки или находятся в трудных ситуациях. Оказание поддержки своему партнеру в таких условиях поможет устранить многие Problems.
2. Men should pay more attention to women through such signs of love as flowers, touches and hugs. Им также следует проявлять больше интереса к их повседневной life. If you show your chosen one that you love her, you can get rid of many problems.
And while we certainly don't want to oversimplify the content of John Gray's book, it's very difficult to make these two basic principles of behavior an integral part of a relationship, which can lead to many problems. We recommend that you read books of this nature to increase your knowledge and stimulate your desire for a deeper understanding of relationships. ATот некоторые стоящие книги: «Развод – это не решение. ATнутренние перемены сохранят ваш брак» (Джордж Прански, 1992) и «Почему браки разрушаются. How can you save your family” (John Gottman, 1995). AT этих книгах вы найдете много разумных советов, а также научную информацию о различных источниках проблем в личной life.
However, to achieve the relationship you desire, you must take the time to examine yourself to determine what beliefs and behaviors are creating disruption and preventing you from succeeding. When you do this, you will be able to use the energy exercises in this book to eliminate or reduce your tendencies. Simply put, insight and knowledge can often not be enough to create harmonious relationships. ATам необходимо обозначить свои нежелательные мысли, чувства и принципы поведения, а после этого при помощи упражнений, предлагаемых в этой книге, сбалансировать свою энергетическую систему.

Relationship problems

AT следующей части этой главы рассматриваются в основном отрицательные эмоции и негативные принципы поведения, которые могут навредить вашим отношениям или разрушить их. Although здесь мы предлагаем вашему вниманию лишь несколько примеров, вы должны сами прекрасно осознавать, какие чувства