6 ways to deal with anxiety:
1. Relax your body. Use whatever relaxation technique you like.
2. Treat the situation with excitement. Let what you are doing take over.
3. Focus on some state that is currently out of focus.
4. Find a higher meaning. Think of a higher purpose.
5. Refuse to complete the task. Is there any way to get around this situation, or at least temporarily distract from it?
6. Determine the best tactics. Think about what course of action will help you most successfully deal with this situation, and stick to it.

What to do if you are worried? Of course, try to relax and calm down. But it turns out that this is not the only way to deal with anxiety. Or rather, one of the possible six – so says the creator of the reverse theory of motivation, Michael Apter.

It turns out that the state of mind of each of us can be described as a combination of four pairs of opposites, indicated on the diagram. At any given time, only one of a pair of states can be active (for example, right now you can focus on yourself, and a little later, think more about others). Several states from different pairs can be active at the same time (thus, empathizing with someone, you are in a state of empathy and orientation to others).

ALL IN PAIRS

The first pair of states is about ends and means, the second is about relationships with rules, the third is about interactions with people, and the fourth is about relationships.

Our perception of the same things can vary greatly depending on which state is active. For example, in a conformist state, we evaluate clear rules and instructions as supportive, and in the opposite state – rebellious – as restraining. Or we can, being in an others-oriented state, “get into someone else’s position” and “go forward”, and then lament our compliance and neglect of our own interests. This means that your state has changed and now you are more focused on personal interests, that is, self-orientation prevails.

SIX STEPS TO PEACE

Let’s identify all six ways that help get rid of anxiety.

Relax your body.

Practicing yoga, belly breathing, or imagining yourself in a quiet, peaceful place, as prescribed common methods of dealing with stress, we begin to feel better. You can reduce the level of excitation of the nervous system in a huge number of ways: yoga, autogenic training, deep breathing, or just a cup of herbal tea.

Treat with passion.

It is possible, while maintaining a high level of excitation, to switch to a paragoal state. Then high arousal will be a source of positive rather than negative emotions. For example, you were asked to prepare a presentation of your direction by the end of the week, but you don’t like it, you don’t know how to do it, and you don’t know what to say at all. You can look at the situation this way: making a presentation in three days, despite the fact that you are far from being an expert in them, and no one has canceled your other work, is a worthy challenge. And you will certainly do it, the only question is how. Interesting?!

Shift focus.

Several states from different pairs can be active at the same time. And even if now we are focused on the target state, looking closely, we can find behind it, for example, conformist (“The boss said, it means it’s necessary”), superiority (“This is a big responsibility – no matter who will be entrusted with this”) or self-orientation (“Oh, how much fell on me!”). Focus on some state that is currently out of focus. Think about the fact that you, as a leading specialist, are simply obliged to make this presentation (conformist), especially since no one understands this better than you anyway (superiority), and success in this mission can open up additional prospects for you personally (oriented to themselves), and for the entire department (oriented to others).

Find a higher meaning.

In addition to the unpleasant feelings (anxiety, confusion) caused by the fact that the task is difficult, the stakes are high, and everything is not going as smoothly as we would like, there are probably much more pleasant feelings and values ​​associated with the situation. For example, understanding one’s own importance or such a value as professionalism.

Pay attention to them. By focusing on the complexities and possible negative consequences, we increase stress, try to delay the task, even when we know for sure that it will have to be done.

By thinking of higher values, we can find something meaningful enough for us to keep going forward, despite the risks and obstacles. Yes, this particular task may not bring you much joy, but it is also part of some larger process. And there is an important reason why you are participating in this process.

Remember the parable of the three masons. All three were engaged in the same work in the same workshop, but the first one could no longer endure it, the second was bored, and the third was quite pleased. And all because they focused on the goals of different levels: the first “hewed stones”, the second “earned money to feed his wife and children”, and the third “participated in the construction of the temple.”

Refuse to complete the task.

If you are so worried about the task, then it can be avoided. To say that you are overwhelmed with work, or that you will make slides and write a speech, and let Masha speak, or that Vasya is much better at this, let him do everything. Or you can say sick, just “wrap up and forget”, put up with a reprimand and loss of bonuses. These are far from the best options, but it still makes sense to remember that they are. You should not abuse them, but sometimes nerves are really more expensive.

Determine the best tactic.

In our example, this is to figure out what needs to be done to make the presentation a success. What should be the slides? What to do so that the audience does not get bored? Are there any ways to immediately attract listeners to yourself?

When choosing your way of dealing with anxiety, try to understand in which state you are now and in which direction you would like to move.

BALANCE CRIB

Every time you feel anxious about something, run through this simple pattern. I am sure that you will have many options that you have not thought about.

RELAX: Use whatever relaxation technique you like.

REVERSE: Take your mind off the result and consequences and let what you are doing take over you.

Shift FOCUS: Notice what other metamotivational states are active and try to focus on them.

REMEMBER THE HIGHEST PURPOSE: Are there any feelings or values ​​that can “eclipse” your anxiety?

AVOID: Is there any way to get around this situation, or at least temporarily distract from it? (Do not overuse this path.)

CHOOSE A TACTIC: Think about what course of action will help you most successfully handle this situation and stick with it.