gives himself to it completely without a trace. There are receptions, banquets and other entertainment that are becoming more preferable.

I will tell you about one typical example, of which there were many in my clinical practice.

Spouses Natasha and Vladimir have been married for about ten years. Bed rampage in the distant past, uh now “intimacy” once a month, or even less often. The husband usually excuses himself by being tired and busy, although he has two legal days off, which he spends at his own discretion, but not in bed. On weekdays, he usually comes home late and the first thing he says when he enters the hallway is: “Wow! Tired as a dog!”

Both of them are business people, Natasha works no less than her husband, but is by no means averse to paying more attention to the joys of the flesh. She read many books and articles in women's magazines on the subject, tried to flaunt at home in sexy lingerie, used other tricks from the standard set, but with varying degrees of success. Natasha does not think of having a lover just for the sake of physiological needs, she loves her husband and wants sex with him, and not with anyone.

And then one day, after Natasha's unsuccessful attempts, her husband did not have an erection. “If it goes on like this, you will become impotent,” she declared and brought him to me. Vladimir was really afraid of losing his potency and agreed to a course of sex therapy.

How many times a week should you have a wife?

- As soon as you get married, have it and have it, otherwise someone else will have it.

D.E.

Then I asked him to describe in detail his daily routine - the patient also told me that he was very busy, and therefore he had absolutely no time for “intimacy”. And here he is sitting opposite, wrinkling his forehead and struggling to remember what he did last week. Negotiations, phone calls to business partners, instructions to subordinates and their report on the work done, viewing documents - in general, the usual routine. After Vladimir finished his opus, I asked him to clearly indicate how much time was spent on each of the listed cases. “Well, how can I remember how long it took a phone call or checking a quarterly report…” he tried to evade. “Remember,” I advised. — It was quite recently. If you have memory problems, I will prescribe you nootropics.” My ironic tone had an effect, and the patient, suppressing a sigh, pulled the list of completed tasks closer to him again. I must say, this occupation took him twice as much time. Vladimir nervously bit his pen, periodically looked thoughtfully into nowhere, sighed sadly and looked at me with unhappy eyes, hoping to pity me, but I sat with the air of a stern class teacher and did not succumb to his sorrowful sighs and expressive views. The result turned out to be exactly what was expected - a lot of time was spent on all sorts of nonsense, and a lot of "things" that you can not do at all.

- Mash, what does your husband do?

- Building.

- Oh, that's not right! He drives a foreign car with bodyguards, he is clean, he smells of cologne ...

“But he is building capitalism, not barns!”

Joke

After a long discussion, I managed to convince Vladimir, as well as other patients whose wives complained about her husband’s inattention and his neglect of “marital duty” under the pretext of being too busy, that he spends too much time on empty things.

By the way, a regular intimate life, coupled with my advice on streamlining the work schedule, has benefited not only family relationships, but also business. “I now earn four times as much!” - Vladimir proudly told me a year after the transition to the "new schedule".

According to Freud, one of the psychological defense mechanisms is called sublimation, which means the redirection of energy from one channel to another. The founder of the theory of psychoanalysis had in mind the switching of base needs to manifestations of activity highly valued in society. In a broader sense, this means that the libido is not realized as intended by nature, but is sublimated into other spheres, in this case, into professional activity.

“For some reason, he does not react to me in the male part.”

D.E.

Freud considered sublimation as one of the most positive adaptation mechanisms of the individual. In a simplified sense, a young person (man), instead of being led by primitive needs, realizes himself in the social sphere, and this is precisely what is positive.

There are many examples of how a person (be it a man or a woman) completely refuses intimate communication with members of the opposite sex, is literally obsessed with his work and achieves outstanding accomplishments in it. Brilliant loners in science, art and other fields of activity are not uncommon.

However, according to the French proverb, everything that is a lot is bad, except for money. Obsession with something to the detriment of everything else inherent in a harmonious personality is a negative phenomenon.

Advertisement: “Flavored condoms. If you can’t use it for its intended purpose, you can serve it on the table as a dessert.

D.E.

It is known that when any organ does not perform its functions for a long time, certain changes occur in it over time. For example, muscles atrophy from inactivity, and if a person constantly takes enzyme preparations, then the secretion of the gastrointestinal tract is thereby suppressed, and the ability to produce substances necessary for the digestion of food is lost.

Roughly the same thing happens with sexual desire - if it is not regularly reinforced. then fades away over time. The longer the break in intimate life, the weaker the desire. At first, for a sexually active person, abstinence is painful, all his thoughts are concentrated on with whom, how to achieve what he wants - then this desire weakens more and more, and after a certain time, the erotic fantasies of the abstinent no longer torment.

Sexual abstinence (that is, a sharp break from what was before) is an undesirable phenomenon, and especially for a woman. Sometimes, just by one look at the fair sex, you can tell how things are going with sex. This affects the whole appearance, mood, general tone and even performance. And, of course, for health. The first question that an oncologist usually asks his patients concerns intimate life. With prolonged abstinence or irregular sexual activity, the risk of developing tumors increases significantly. Patients with a malignant neoplasm, after surgery, doctors strongly recommend streamlining this area.

So, by becoming a sexual abstinent, you are doing a lot of damage to your own health and increasing the risk of acquiring cancer.

THIS PASSION WOULD BE YES TO THE NIGHT…
Two men are talking:

The son asks: “Dad, where do babies come from?”

- It's okay, children are now interested in this early.

- Yes, but my son has been married for five years ...

Joke

There are people in the category that I call IBD - imitators of violent activity. Remember how the Rabbit, the character in the fairy tale "Alice in Wonderland", constantly muttered: "There is no time"? So some people, in order to feel their own need and usefulness, come up with activities for themselves, so that later they can say with satisfaction: “I’m spinning like a squirrel in a wheel!” Yes exactly. But why is the squirrel spinning in the wheel? What is the use of this for anyone, including the squirrel itself? But the poor rodent is not to blame for the fact that cruel people put it into this wheel, and those who call themselves homo sapiens themselves, figuratively speaking, get into something resembling such a wheel. In general, a dynamo that produces nothing but steam.

You can't do everything, even if you don't start.

G. Malkin

I have a friend who sits on the phone all day and “settles things”. In my opinion, only he needs it alone - to feel irreplaceable. And so he calls back and forth, negotiates with someone, but I don’t know why the person whose affairs my friend “settles” does not call or go to this institution himself, because the question is trifling, and the voluntary “settler of problems” has neither acquaintances nor any other advantages and can do little to help. But! - Participates in the process.

So are some people who call themselves businessmen. Instead of entrusting the case to a subordinate, a professional in their field, they pick themselves, having neither experience nor knowledge. They are looking for a job, and no one but themselves needs it, and then they complain that they are very tired.

One of my patients, co-owner of the company, is engaged in accounting himself. Instead of hiring a qualified accountant who will, as is now commonly accepted in domestic business, conduct “double bookkeeping”, he writes down income and expenses and other tricks on pieces of paper (often loses them), keeps a ledger, brings all these pieces of paper home and in the evenings he sits and wrinkles his brain - he calculates the profit.

His wife is an accountant by profession, but she works for another company. She tried to increase the efficiency of her husband, shared her knowledge with him, persuaded him to use a computer - it was useless. The wife convinced him that if a savvy specialist takes up the matter, then the accounting will be at the level, and the husband will free up a lot of time. By the way, free time could be used to expand the business, and not just for personal life. But the spouse likes