very diverse, but always in the first place is "I". Everything around should revolve only around his person, just as the planets revolve around the Sun (the Sun, of course, is OH). He believes that his moral principles are the only true ones, and his own interests are much more important than other people's problems. Such a person lives according to the law “the end justifies the means” and is ready to achieve his goal at any cost, most often at the expense of others.

An egoist can easily take advantage of your disposition towards him and even love. And the worst thing is that he thinks it's normal. It is unlikely that such a person is able to fall in love, because he is the center of the universe. He will only let you love him.

It is difficult to live with a man who values ​​only his own opinion, regardless of yours. He is always right about everything. You need to agree with him in everything, and any objection will immediately be followed by a negative reaction: a quarrel, reproaches, accusations of indifference and selfishness. The egoist is passionate and admires only himself, and manipulates others, and there is a high probability of falling under his influence.

Therefore, at the very beginning of a relationship, take a close look at your potential partner.

Rule #3
Determine what type of egoists your man belongs to in order to further determine the strategy and tactics of your behavior.

Selfishness can be rational, or reasonable, establishing the priority of a person's personal interests over other interests or the ability to live one's own interests without contradicting the interests of others. In another way it is called "individualism".

And there is egoism, in which pleasure is the main virtue, the highest good and the goal of life. This kind of egoism is called "hedonism", which means "pleasure", "pleasure". The motto of people of this type is “Love yourself, spit on everyone and success awaits you in life.”

“There are three categories of egoists: egoists who themselves live and let others live; egoists who themselves live and do not let others live; finally, egoists who do not live themselves and do not give to others ... ”(I. S. Turgenev)

The first option is the most harmless. Your chosen one is a “reasonable” egoist. Such a person considers himself self-sufficient, not needing others, but also surroundings have the right to exist. As long as they do not climb into his life, he does not cause inconvenience, simply ignoring extraneous opinion.

Such men often remain bachelors. Therefore, if you are dating one of them, then you should seriously think about the future. He is unlikely to ever propose to you, because he is already good.

Coexistence with an egoist of the second type is possible, but it is doomed to exist in advance. To live with a person who considers himself entitled to poison the lives of others is masochism. However, if you decide on such a desperate act, then only one thing can be advised: do not contradict, do not argue and do not sort things out. This can only exacerbate the situation, simultaneously fraying his nerves.

The last, third, type is the least suitable for family relationships. For such a person, he will always come first. He will blame all his problems on others, and failures in family life - on your wrong behavior. He will allow you to be with him only if it is beneficial for him. And shedding tears is completely useless, because he is completely indifferent to the opinions and feelings of others, because he is an egoist!

Often, falling in love, we rush into the pool with our heads. And we consider all difficulties as obstacles that must be overcome on the way to a happy family life. But over time, our efforts are more and more like banging our heads against a wall. After all, building relationships with an egoist is a one-sided game when you try to build, and he either condescendingly allows you to do this, or interferes, or completely destroys what you have managed to achieve.

Rule #4
One opinion is good, but several are better.

So that your efforts are not in vain, and your hopes do not collapse, you need to immediately understand with whom you are going to live.

You can consider your beloved the best, although yesterday he forgot about your birthday, and the day before yesterday he did not find time for a phone call all day long. And you again justified his actions, especially since he made such convincing arguments. And people who talk bad about him are just jealous. But is it?

The opinion of others sometimes really helps to understand what your chosen one really is. If you are in a state of love, you see everything in a rosy light. You tend to write off problems as “grinding each other” or simply postpone until later. But then it might be too late. Finding out in advance how your chosen one behaves with colleagues, relatives, friends means to protect yourself and prepare the ground for living together.

For example, a person who never keeps his word and can easily let his friends down is unlikely to become a support for the family. And if he does not appreciate the love of loved ones and does not value his relatives, he will not be a reliable partner, a loving husband and a caring father. Poor relationships with colleagues can indicate a lack of tact, lack of listening skills, and a willingness to “go over the heads” for your goal – a similar fate can befall you too.

Rule #5
It is worth listening to the opinions of others, but do not make hasty conclusions.

There are always pitfalls, such as jealousy, envy, and just a bad mood of the interlocutor. Therefore, try to find out as much as possible about your loved one from different sources. Analyze the information, weigh it and compare it with your opinion about a particular situation. The main thing is not to make hasty decisions, because this is just a view from the outside.

In order to better understand your loved one, try to make lists of his "good" deeds and those that clearly do not suit you. Something, maybe you will bring in right away from the experience of communicating with him, and something can become a revelation for you if you really pay attention to his actions and words.

Rule #6
The best test is an attempt to force him to change plans to the detriment of his time, mood, the usual course of events.

Example 1. You made an appointment. Before, you always met at a certain place. Offer him another, which is supposedly more convenient for you. See how quickly he agrees, if at all, and if he refuses, find out the reasons. Most likely, the egoist will not want to change his plans and the usual routine of life. But it is unlikely that he will have objective reasons for refusing your offer. He will begin to offer various options in order to still convince you and insist on his own.

Example 2. Prepare dinner and set the table. Accidentally forget to put cutlery near one of the plates. Look, what place at the table will he take? Will they offer you a device? And will he even notice that you don't have a fork and knife?

Example 3. Well, and the simplest: put something tasty in a conspicuous place and pretend that got distracted. Discreetly observe him: whether he eats the dish prepared for both of you or offers you. The egoist, most likely, will not even notice that he ate everything without sharing it with you. And you start to reproach him for this - without blinking an eye, he will say that if he wanted to, he would have eaten it long ago, the “good” would not disappear.

Of course, it would be much more pleasant to savor this dish with your loved one while watching a movie or having a heart-to-heart talk. But do not get upset and even more so fall into hysterics, just put a tick in your list of pros and cons.

Rule #7
Try to recognize the true attitude of a person towards you. And to understand if there is a chance to correct the situation and somehow get along with your loved one.

You can arrange as many checks as you like, the main thing is not to play too much and not spoil your nerves and mood. By and large, it is not difficult to recognize an egoist. Look closely and listen to his words and actions towards you. Analyze situations in which you were uncomfortable, where you made concessions for the sake of your loved one. And how many actions prove the superiority of his love for you over love for himself?

Most often, an egoist manifests himself as such in everything and everywhere. But maybe you will be the exception to the rule that will make him look at you differently. After all, you are together, which means that not only he, but he needs you too. Take advantage of it!

Oddly enough, there are much more egoists among men than among women. And although, it would seem, masculinity and selfishness are incompatible things, unfortunately, more and more women are faced with the selfishness of their spouse in family life. It is selfishness that underlies quarrels, discords and even divorces.

For example, you, trying to replenish the family budget for a planned trip to the sea during your vacation, save on cosmetics and meetings with girlfriends in a cafe. And he does not forget about his friends and will not