There is both good and bad in the world – that’s how it works. And finding his long-awaited soul mate, along with the happiness that love brings us, a man also receives fear.

Fear of losing everything. Often this feeling begins to prevail, sucking strength and health out of him.

It seems to him endlessly that everything will end soon. Not knowing how to enjoy the gift that life sent down to him, he begins to try on various situations, the main theme of which is treason. Will he be able to forgive the betrayal? Most men answer this with a resounding no.

In fact, life is so diverse and multifaceted that it is foolish to determine in it some once and for all predestined paths. Silly and pointless. In most cases, a person can never fully know how he will behave in a stressful situation. Discarding all the arguments based on the comparison of a woman and a man with a male and a female (after all, we are people with intelligence, not animals), we can single out several basic answers to the question “Is it possible to forgive betrayal?”.

1 – Cheating can be forgiven at the very beginning of a relationship. When your soul mate has not yet decided what she needs and with whom she wants to stay. In the end, you need to give her some time to make a choice. But if we have been living for several years – no! Working and bringing money into the house, I want to have peace of mind – the confidence that I am the only one that she needs. In this case, treason is betrayal. It means that she did not appreciate my efforts, my love, she forgot those moments when we were happy. I cannot forgive such betrayal.

2 – Treason is impossible to forgive. It hurts my male ego. Why does she prefer someone else? Why am I worse than him? After all, living with me, she changed for the better! I gave her the opportunity to develop, paid for her courses and classes in a fitness club, bought expensive outfits, and took her to the sea. After all, she changed at my expense! Why is someone else using it now?

3 – Treason cannot be forgiven, because it drops my manhood in the eyes of other people. But in principle, being on a long business trip abroad, I admit that my wife may feel the need for sex and be liked by someone else. In that case, I hope she’s smart enough to make sure I don’t find out.

4 – Women’s betrayal cannot be forgiven. She has nothing to do with when a man cheats. For a man, the need for sex is often a very spontaneous thing, and, having changed, we do not attach any importance to this. The beloved woman does not cease to be the most precious being for us. A woman changes her soul. Women’s infidelity is rarely random. As a rule, she grows simply out of friendship with a man, which means that a woman goes for it consciously, fully understanding the fact of her betrayal.

To forgive or not to forgive betrayal is a very personal question. There are natures who treat this philosophically, believing that the current moment itself is important: here and now I am happy, and what happened is not so important. But for the most part, men, like women, are very hard going through what happened. How to suddenly forget the one without which you could not imagine your future life?

Cheating is an inexhaustible source of anecdotes and jokes, but it is also a real disaster if you have been cheated on. She turns the whole world upside down. Everything that used to be simple and clear becomes incomprehensible and complex. Hundreds of questions come up. How could she do this to me? Did I know her at all? Who is the person who spent so much time around? There are many questions, but there are no answers, and it seems that the whole Universe is starting to go crazy with you. Sad, isn’t it? Now raise everything you read to the third power, and you will get the feeling of a man who has been cheated on by his wife. What can you do, time may have equalized a man and a woman in rights, but has not changed the fact that so far, in the subconscious of many: a man is a male, for whom trips to the left are not only forgivable, but sometimes necessary, and a woman is the keeper of the family hearth, humbly enduring trips to the left of the dearest half and at the same time not daring to look towards other representatives of the opposite sex.
Can a man, with all these stereotypes, forgive his wife who cheated on him. Certainly yes. But for this he will have to do a colossal work on himself.
And above all, he should stop blaming himself. Yes, yes, just yourself. Oddly enough, 80% of men, having learned about female infidelity, begin to blame themselves for what happened. They are not so good, there is a bald spot on the head, there is a beer tummy … Comrades, this is not a tummy at all – this is a clear proof of a good-natured character. By the way, despite the hysterical sobs wife – “It was you who pushed me into his arms!” – what has been said has nothing to do with reality. You can blame the deed – the infantile nature of the second half, the tendency to infidelity (there is one), a society in which intimate life has long ceased to be intimate, but not you. Even if you lie in bed covered in crumbs 90% of the time, mindlessly flipping channels all day, it’s still not your fault. This is entirely your wife’s choice. So the first step to forgiving your wife is to forgive yourself.
The next step on the path to forgiveness should be a banal honest conversation. Why did your wife cheat? What did she find in the new relationship? What was missing in your life? What do you expect from your future relationship with your spouse? What do you want to see your life? Listen to each other. Try not to turn a heart-to-heart conversation into an argument on the topic: “how long have you not washed the dishes.” Remember, your goal is to save the relationship.
Don’t expect one conversation to be enough. Psychologists have determined that the average time required to forget betrayal is 2-3 years. Can you do it sooner? Great, keep it up!
The longest and most difficult period will be the period during which you will need to restore trust and good relations. This period is very difficult, and the main thing here is not to lose yourself, but along with relationships to develop your personality spiritually and physically.