aimed at rich people with a regular income who do not spare money.

I already began to understand something, but I did not understand that these were just trifles. Therefore, he borrowed more from his friend in order to reasonably start trading in a new company. I was lucky with my friend: he was a kind person. About "such" people say: from God! He borrowed the money because he wanted to borrow from me over time. Having calculated all the risks and choosing a strategy, I began to put small lots. My brain is so ingrained in this work that I began to forget about everything that exists around. I wanted only one thing: to return the lost funds, to earn money for rest, as I was already pretty tired, to learn how to make at least a small profit. And I didn't need more. And also, I wanted to be sure of my own future and my old age.

But after each successful transaction, conceit grew, a feeling of anger and resentment haunted. And when he walked the beaten path, he lost everything again. Then he won, then he lost again. The stock exchange needs only a creative approach and the ability to think creatively. Somehow, at one fine moment, the realization came that working on the stock exchange is a game with oneself in one's own weaknesses, this is a test of survival. That all this time I was proving to myself that I was alive! Sometimes, finding loopholes, I withdrew a little money, but this was not enough, the growing greed knew no bounds, and then I lost everything. I forgot about everything and everyone, about my hobbies, about people who were nearby, about relatives, only graphs and numbers flashed before my eyes, often going not in my direction. I changed inside and changed outside. I lost interest in sex, in life, in the world around me, in which I saw only poverty.

The main thing remained only one desire to invest money again and surrender to pleasant masochism with oneself. I often forgot that it is better to withdraw money immediately after earning, and therefore I also lost profit. As a maniac, sitting and following the news and figures, he even bought a smartphone so that it would be more convenient to surrender to torment even while traveling in broad daylight. So, I lost a whole year, not noticing anything, having invested vacation pay, and did not go to rest, although I could afford it if it weren’t for the stock exchange. I often wondered what was happening to me? Why do such irreversible changes occur? But to admit the fact that this is an ordinary addiction was difficult and difficult.

One plus that I got while working on the market at that time: I stopped drinking alcohol and began to take care of my health more, stopped thinking negatively and became a big optimist, but sometimes optimism went to the extreme - I lost a sense of proportion and lost. I began to look at things in life differently, especially at money, I began to understand that money can buy everything that money can make anyone happy, and they are a lever to control people. I realized that I will never become a millionaire, because I have a small income and can only earn money for food. He left the illusion that he was not the best and unique, just more trusting and naive. Therefore, I can easily be deceived by more sophisticated people and structures. Finally, he began to crawl out of the sliders, stretched to the very ears, at the age of 30. But understanding such things does not make me happy, I wanted to play again and again in order to prove to myself with each new transaction that I am the best! But this did not bother anyone, people simply misunderstood me and said that I had become inadequate and evil. They did not care about my success, I felt that people clearly respond to the imaginary sense of reliability and stability that emanated from me. But I was like that only because of the work on the stock exchange. INерящим снова и снова в свою сказку: тем самым, обещая сказку другим.

Again for a dream
INначале, я выиграл в три раза больше, чем вложил средств, потом столько же потерял, потом столько же вложил – таков был мой алгоритм работы. Six months later, he lost it again, taking it out only for food. And so for two years in a row, until he realized that he had become an outcast and a terrible egoist. I never went on vacation, not counting a couple of days in a sanatorium, I never bought what I dreamed of - a house, a yacht, I never made a gift to my loved ones, all because the exchange makes you think only about yourself and your own pseudo success. Not noticing how the days fly by, health nevertheless made itself felt: pain in the heart due to overexertion, in the temples, bruises under the eyes, sore throat. The exhausted organism again went into battle, proving to itself that it is the best among others! But faith continued to live. I could not forbid myself to believe that I could earn a house, a car, travel, because the principle of work became obvious and simple. The only thing left to do was to do it. But when I earned at least something and withdrew, then there was a streak of losses and nervous breakdowns due to overexertion.

IN таком полёте фантазии на постоянный успех можно просуществовать всю жизнь и всё вокруг будет казаться реально осуществимым. Only 5% of people have a chance to become rich. After reading many different books on trading and finance, you begin to understand that success can only come in years and only to those who have initial capital, but not to those who started with $30 and believed in a dream. This approach promises to get into yet another debt. Reason, will, spirit can lead to wealth. INсё остальное – лишь забава. At least now I was full, but I couldn't afford to go on vacation.

His head often ached from overexertion, a nervous tic did not give rest. Notрвозность нарастала. Not устойчивость настроения, неадекватность в словах и поступках теперь были моей презентационной карточкой. People were afraid of me, but respected, the boss began to reckon with me, because I proudly went forward, showing indifference to low wages. Women blurred in smiles and hope for a hot night with me. I felt like a millionaire, but I wasn't! IN кармане по– прежнему было пусто, займы и слив всех ежемесячных окладов не давали успокоения. I deprived myself of everything: vacation, peace, reflection, favorite dishes, because I ordered food from a restaurant and did not notice its taste. I forgot about work and almost flew out of it, but the boss began to respect my pride in time, because he himself was like that. My head was spinning with tension and the news coming out, and I was losing everything and giving others hope for the future. It seems that I began to be reborn into a different type of mind - not at all human, compassion completely disappeared in me, degradation from constant work on the stock exchange devastated my soul. Consciousness reached certain planes of the existence of matter, and I almost approached the icon of the Virgin Mary, in a dream I saw graphs, heard the news and communicated with the President, but he could not borrow money for another deal, because he lived only in my dreams.

Losses
Losing is winning! When I won, I imagined comfort and convenience; when I lost, I noticed mistakes and imperfections in myself and others. And so day after day: lost, won, lost, won. I understood - this is a game where the goal pursued from day to day is one. This is not income! Worse, I began to realize that playing on the stock exchange is a psychological addiction. It is dependence, dependence on an imaginary feeling of pleasure. The Exchange is a place for the unfortunate and the abandoned. What I was originally. Which is what I am to this day. And sooner or later, everyone loses most of the money earned there over the years.

What are losses? Losses несут понимание устройства мировой экономики и подавляют самооценку. They are needed by everyone and everyone to take off the “rose-colored glasses”, dressed to us in childhood by the same naive parents. Why did I keep losing? INесьма странно, но возможность заработать и вывести деньги появлялась каждый день, но я этого не замечал, преследуя некую мечту, гонясь за неизвестностью:

«Not дай Бог, INам, попасть в финансовый эгрегор!» said the wise man. I got into it, every day, entangled in the web of illusions about wealth. I got in and let myself be gutted and reset to zero by a more “strong” one, I was unhappy, one of the most unfortunate and continued to put up with it, because I was used to being a masochist, I was used to being a dreamer, an idealist, I was used to someone else doing everything for me, so I was brought up by my parents and the state. I used to be malleable, compliant, lazy - behind the dream of becoming rich and successful, there was something else. Dreaming of acquiring expensive things, he only wanted to express kindness to his neighbor. This is how he brings up Christianity, nailed to this day in the brains of people. Dreaming of beautiful clothes - I wanted to increase self-esteem.